


In This Life And The Next, I'll Always Find You

by Lady_of_Inklings



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Past Lives, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Everyone Needs A Hug, Grim Reapers, I need a hug, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Katsuki Yuuri Needs a Hug, M/M, Memory Loss, POV Katsuki Yuuri, Some Humor, viktor needs a hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-03-28 15:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13907127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_of_Inklings/pseuds/Lady_of_Inklings
Summary: Life and death blurred for Yuuri Katsuki like an interval between music.His job was simple; arrive at the place of death, wait for the soul, and then guide them to the afterlife. Not too complicated, right? Well in Yuuri's case, it was all so complicated. Viktor Nikiforov was too stubborn to die and fate seemed to agree with him much to Yuuri's grief.





	1. Because mine eyes can never have their fill

**Author's Note:**

> _'So, though I be a simple earthly wight,_  
>  Yet none the less I might,  
> Beholding him who is my heart's dear load,  
> Be blessed, and in the spirit soar abroad.'
> 
>  
> 
> \----Dante Alighieri, _'My lady carries love within their eyes.'_

Several Grim Reapers had been gathered at the edge of the rink, their dark wide-brimmed hats had been pulled over their faces as they regarded the skaters dancing so elegantly on the ice. 

The sounds of skates scraping across the ice and laughter sounded melodious to Yuuri who watched with interest as a blur of silver and blue whooshed last him, ruffling the empty sleeves of the coat he had draped over himself. The blast of cool wind didn't make him shiver. 

He clutched the envelope in his hand, threatening to crinkle the delicate piece of paper. A single name had been scrawled across its creamy surface along with a date, a time and a cause of death. It felt so heavy as if it knew that the weight of the soul Yuuri had been sent to retrieve. He had closed his eyes as the seconds counted down. Yuuri couldn’t bear to look. Collecting a soul was mandatory but witnessing the death of that soul was not.

Today was the day. 

This would be the last and final time that Yuuri would see this particular soul, they had escaped death five times before and Yuuri had been there to witness the impossible. Now, as the cold air made its way into their lungs, this would be the last time. Yuuri was sure of it no matter how much something in him scoffed at that very idea. 

_Five seconds._

The scraping of skates, getting ready for a jump. A concluding farewell for someone so talented.

_Four seconds._

The smell of ice and sweat and dreams that would be lost to the ice. It was worth it, gold and silver and bronze had nothing compared to feeling so free.

_Three seconds._

Breaths hitched, trapped like a bird in their chests as the world spun around in four perfect turns. Elation had replaced air and they could finally breathe.

_Two seconds._

There was the sharp sound of a blade touching down on the ice, echoing loudly like a bell in an empty room. It would be over in a few seconds, just like that and they would be no more but another notch in history. 

Time was up and Yuuri had refused to open his eyes.

There was no sickening thud, there were no eyes widening in surprise, there was no scent of blood, there were no screams. There were only the sounds of skates as Viktor danced into his final position with his arms wrapped around his head, facing the ceiling like a faux prayer. The only thing that had died was the final notes of the aria that had played overhead, heralding the end of the program.

But Yuuri had his eyes squeezed shut.

Viktor Nikiforov was still alive, finishing his signature move with a smile that could melt the very ice he skated on. There could be nothing more beautiful and tragic than someone who escaped the claws of death, and for Yuuri, this meant that he would be seeing Viktor again. The name remained on the card as it had been for the past year but once again the date, time, and address changed. His heart betrayed him, he felt relief. Yuuri knew that what he was feeling was impossible, Grim Reapers were as cold as they graves they rose up from. Emotions and memories had been locked away so that they could collect a soul without feeling weighed down by the unnecessary emotions of guilt. 

Their jobs were simple; arrive at the place of death, wait for the soul, and then guide them to the afterlife. Not too complicated, right? Well in Yuuri's case, it was all so complicated. Viktor Nikiforov was too stubborn to die and fate seemed to agree with him much to Yuuri's grief. 

He turned away from the ice rink, disappearing into the shadows along with the rest of the Grim Reapers.

Yuuri didn’t have to wait long to see him again.

The card had said Barcelona and Yuuri would be lying if he said he felt his heart do a flip. 

Several weeks later he saw Viktor swimming in a pool in the middle of winter, he didn’t do much but float in the glassy waters and stare at the sky with such a sorrowful look. If Yuuri had been human, he’d have felt a sliver of pity for the lonely human but as Viktor sunk underwater Yuuri only felt a sense of dread coarse through his icy veins but he refrained from jumping into the water and ruining his coat.

He glanced down at his watch, the seconds refusing to slow down. It was almost close to a minute before he came back up, gasping for air as he clutched the edge of the pool and hauled himself out. His pale skin looked slightly blue as he shivered, grabbing a towel before stumbling back inside. He could hear the human curse, the syllables chopped up by the chattering of his teeth. 

The human with silver hair and blue eyes had lived once again, escaping death by a misguided sense of luck. Yuuri sighed heavily, leaning back onto the pool chair as the card in his pocket changed again—this time to St. Petersburg.

He had never had a reason to go to St. Petersburg, he avoided the city whenever he could merely because he wasn’t that big of a fan of the cold and the Grim Reapers here were a bit more intimidating, he rarely ventured into their territory unless it was for business.

Yuuri heard barking and the sound of paws behind him, he turned to see a dog that had zipped down the street, its tongue out as it skidding to a stop in front of Yuuri regarding him with eager eyes, wagging his tail wildly as if asking the young Grim Reaper if he wanted to play. He squatted down to the dogs level anyway and scratched him behind his ears. Yuuri had a soft spot for dogs, they saw Grim Reapers and other supernatural beings—humans really should take care of them more.

He remembered owning a dog like this earlier in his past life, although he was tinier and a lighter shade of brown.

Yuuri didn’t remember much about his life before awakening as a Grim Reaper but some days he could remember bits and pieces—most of it was vague and barely made any sense; he remembered the smell of Katsudon and the patches of curly brown fur and the glide of the ice and a girl with a pink ribbon in her hair. Yuuri had a ring on his finger, a simple thing with an engraving of a snowflake. It never held any value to him until recently. He recalled the girl with pink ribbons in her hair. Perhaps she had been his wife in another life? He didn't know and he resented that he did know, there was just too much missing. Every time he saw Viktor, something in him stirred. It was like an ember on a cold winters night, flickering briefly with images of warmth and love. Each and every time Yuuri reached out to touch it, the ember was swallowed up by the wind and he was left with a feeling of disappointment and incompleteness that he couldn't understand. 

“Makkachin.” Yuuri read out as he flipped the dog tag over. The poodle barked at the sound of his name. “Such a nice name. Can you tell your master to make my life easier please?”

“ _Makkachin!_ ” He swivelled his head, his eyes landing on a lone figure across the street with a familiar set of blue eyes which widened. "There you are!" 

For a second Yuuri thought the human could see him, a brief feeling of panic began to set in.The human walked across the street the same time as a truck came barreling down, going much to fast. Viktor hadn’t noticed it yet. Yuuri felt a warning climb up his throat but he clamped his hand over his mouth in fear of interfering. Grim Reapers could not and should not under any circumstances reveal themselves. But this human had been so close to him and against his judgement he grabbed his scarf, giving it a firm tug. The truck had missed him by inches, flying down the street and out of sight.

Yuuri pulled his hands back as if he had been burned.

What had he _done?!_

No doubt the card had already changed by now. He didn’t wait to say goodbye to Makkachin, he turned and fled, the card felt like lead in his pocket. Viktor only looked about in confusion grateful for being alive before grabbing his dog's leash and returning to his apartment the incident already forgotten, blamed by a conveniently timed strong gust of wind.

Miraculously, Yuuri had received no warning or punishment mostly because he didn’t tell anybody of his little mishap. He didn’t even want to know the punishment for a Grim Reaper interfering with the death of a human. No Grim Reapers had been there to witness his insubordination and Yuuri knew he had to be more careful next time, the rules were there for a reason. 

He lurked around St. Petersburg for a few more hours before leaving, it was best for him not to lurk around. 

Winter melted away quickly, blooming into spring which then gave birth to summer. Yuuri had seen the human several times.

He stopped referring to him as 'the human,' his name was Viktor Nikiforov and he was a skating champion with the world at his feet but beneath that charming smile laid a man who was so lonely and so miserable that no amount of gold could fill the hole that remained in his heart. Yuuri watched, fascinated. He skated with such beauty and grace, masking his pain so effortlessly by falling into the stories he carved on the ice. It felt so dangerous to touch Viktor for he was like a flame that danced with life and Yuuri was the incarnation of ice and death.

Yuuri saw him three different times after that.

Yuuri saved him three different times.

Each time his memories resurfaced and each time Yuuri felt like screaming; he remembered a sleepy town in Japan, a small inn, he remembered the smell of cigarettes, the barks of a small dog at his feet, a girl with pink ribbons, the feeling of ice and most of all---his family, his parents and sister, the kindest people he'd ever met who loved him unconditionally. 

But there was one large gap, one that eluded him. He felt incomplete without it. Perhaps that's why he let Viktor live, maybe Viktor held the answers and the gods were playing a cruel trick on him. 

Others would find out about Yuuri soon, what he had done and how careless he had become, he knew that it would catch up to him but for now, he simply watched because Viktor wasn’t done with this world yet and neither was Yuuri. It was December that Yuuri saw Viktor. He had huddled himself in a bar, sipping his drink with disinterest as he watched the grainy image of a young boy in pink and red skate his way to the top, the scores announcing his win amongst the cheers. 

There was a smile on his face, hidden by his drink but it was proud and happy.

And _finally_ , something tore into Yuuri.

Memories and emotions and touches in the moonlight and dances in twilight—-it swarmed into his heart and his mind, flooding him on images of a different life where he had been happy and his life had been full of colour and life. Silver strands like starlight and eyes as blue as the sea had been the centre of it all, anchoring him to the world like a rock. He had been Yuuri's love and life and his greatest regret. 

Flames that swarmed around them like fireflies, the memory was unpleasant because that was the last time he had seen Viktor before everything came crashing down. 

Tears threatened to fall from his eyes as he turned back to Viktor who waved the bartender for his bill. No, no! Yuuri knew Viktor's fate; Viktor would be murdered by a mugger as he made his way back home and Yuuri could not—- _would not _—-let that happen. He had to keep Viktor here with him.__

___Screw the rules_ , Yuuri thought as he cast off the concealment that hid him from the eyes of humans. _I lost you once and I don’t want to ever lose you again, Vitya.__ _

__He got up from his seat, ignoring the anxiety that bubbled in his stomach as he sat down next to him on a barstool. This was the most idiotic thing he had ever done. Yuuri didn’t know what to say, words eluded him when Viktor shifted to face him. His eyes were just as blue as he first saw them lifetimes ago, they put the sky and the oceans to shame. Yuuri knew he must’ve looked like a mess with his dark tousled hair, wet eyes, and his throat straining with emotions he hadn’t felt for so long. It all felt like too much and too little at the same time._ _

__To be honest, not the best way to make a first impression._ _

__“Are you okay?” Viktor had asked in English, his accent wasn’t as thick as he remembered it. That was fine, it was still his Viktor._ _

__“I am now,” Yuuri said. He extended his hand to Viktor. He only had to make him stay for five minutes more but Yuuri knew that he wanted Viktor to stay with him forever. Stand by my side and never leave, that what they promised each other and Yuuri intended to honour that promise. A hint of recognition flashed behind his eyes. He tilted his head in consideration, wondering if he should leave or not but something whispered to him to stay just a few minutes longer. Viktor had been waiting for him all this time too, he just didn't know it._ _

__That was fine. He had so much to tell him, he could start with something simple._ _

__“I’m Yuuri. Yuuri Katsuki." He said, smiling for the first time in a long time. "And you are?'_ _

__"Viktor Nikiforov."_ _


	2. My True Love Hath My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _'My true-love hath my heart and I have his,_  
>  By just exchange one for the other given:  
> I hold his dear, and mine he cannot miss;  
> There never was a bargain better driven.  
> His heart in me keeps me and him in one;  
> My heart in him his thoughts and senses guides:  
> He loves my heart, for once it was his own;  
> I cherish his because in me it bides. '
> 
>  
> 
> \-----Sir Philip Sydney, _My True Love Hath My Heart_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Viktor Nikiforov is happily dating the love of his life but love isn't all fairy tails and happily ever after's. Sometimes it means giving a little and taking a lot, even if the love of your life is hiding something behind those gorgeous brown eyes.

Sunlight crept through the bedroom windows as the sun leapt into the sky, illuminating the figures that slept in the king bed in distinct lines of shadows and light. Viktor had been awake long before the sun had risen, at this point his body was used to waking up at an ungodly hour in the morning. He could not go back to sleep no longer how much he tried so he leaned on his arm instead, watching Yuuri as he adorably drooled in his sleep. Nothing could stop the soft smile that crept onto his face and the pure unadulterated love that filtered into his eyes.

It wasn’t creepy to gaze lovingly at the love of your life, was it? Viktor didn’t think so, mostly because he never really woke up next to somebody in the mornings. (Makkachin didn’t count.) It felt nice to see Yuuri in the moments where the world was dead outside their bedroom window, where it was only them and the cold air that had settled during the night.

He turned and shut off the alarm before enveloping the dark haired man into his arms, pressing soft kisses against his forehead and cheeks.

God, he was so beautiful.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Viktor said when Yuuri finally stirred, kissing the exposed part of his face and neck, slowly rousing him from his slumber. His eyes fluttered open like butterfly wings as he regarded Viktor with tired brown eyes, and then he closed them snuggling back into the sheets for warmth.

“Ten more minutes, Vitya.” He mumbled into the pillows.

Viktor felt like a part of him had died and gone to heaven, he loved the way his name sounded when Yuuri used his early morning voice. It did many things to him.

“But it’s my day off.” Viktor pressed more kisses, adding the slight scrape of teeth over his skin. Yuuri shuddered, letting out a contented hum as Viktor pouted, anxious for his sleeping beauty to wake up.

“Then spend it with me.”

“I am," He huffed. "Or at least I’m trying to.” Viktor tucked a strand of his hair back into place still fascinated and even more in love as it fell out from behind his ear. He leaned down to nuzzle his face, even now he could smell the faint scent of chamomile and mint that was so uniquely Yuuri. “I love you,” He whispered.

“I love you too,” He felt his heart skip a beat out of sheer joy. He’d spent his entire life wishing to say that to someone. “Now go back to sleep, Vitya.”

“Yuuuuri!”

Mornings like these were what Viktor had waited for his entire life for. He loved waking up to Yuuri, he loved the soft pout of his lips in the morning, he loved the sound of his groggy voice, he loved the soft locks which were hopelessly messy, he loved the way Yuuri bribed him to stay in bed.

Sometimes he wondered if he was going to wake up and this was a just a dream, that he would be back at that bar with a shitty drink and the same empty hollowness to fill his evening.

He dreaded the thought of never meeting Yuuri. No matter what, he couldn’t imagine a life where Yuuri wasn’t there.

If anyone had seen him in the past few months, they noticed that Viktor looked like he had just come back to life. Now he looked like he was part of the living instead of a smiled induced zombie shuffling around on his skates but now when you looked at him you noticed the small things like his eyes lighting up, full of vigour and life. He smiled more, grinning ear to ear like a fool as he thought about his Yuuri. It freaked a lot of people out (especially Yurio) because they expected the patented Nikiforov smile, not the sappy one that he adorned his face with these days. He even danced across the ice with a passion that had been had been lost in his youth, which made Lilia raise an immaculate eyebrow on several occasions. Even Yakov noticed that he skated like he never did before bringing something new to his programs that nobody had ever seen before: love.

Not the fairytales of playboys and nights that he used to shallowly weave in his programs but real love; the type of love that fairytales wish they could achieve. Yuuri kept Viktors attention on him but just being himself. He was sheer perfection just the way he was, from his lovely brown eyes to his squishy stomach to his fondness of tea.

Over the years many people told him he could have anybody he wanted, most had been surprised when he settled----no, not settle----when he fell in love with Yuuri. The gossip columns had thought him dumpy and introverted, He considered himself average to everyone else but to Viktor, he was his star, his love, his light—-he would do anything for this man because he owed him so much and he would spend eternity if he could proving how much Yuuri meant to him. The reporters and gossip columns could shove it, they didn’t see Yuuri the way he did. Anybody would be stupid enough to not see how beautiful he was.

He slid back into bed, holding Yuuri close to him but he couldn’t close his eyes. He stared up at the ceiling of his room as he traced his new routine on the back of Yuuri’s hand landing on his ring finger, he thought about the ring he had stashed away in his nightstand and the man in his arms, feeling nervous and giddy at the same time.

Yuuri was perfect in every way for him and Viktor could see himself spending the rest of his life with him.

He just hoped that Yuuri felt the same.

Sometimes when Viktor looked at him, he could see the cracks in the carefully tailored smile Yuuri worsen everytime he uttered the words ‘I’m fine.’ (God how he hated those words. They never meant the same thing.) He could feel the love and happiness that Yuuri gave him but he could also feel this sense of hesitation that felt like a wall that he had unconsciously built between them. Yuuri didn’t push but he pulled and Viktor could feel a shift of unbalance that made him worry despite the countless number of times Yuuri told him that he loved him.

Another strange thing was that Yuuri never talked about his family. He mentioned that he had no one left and the subject always brought this far away, sorry look into his eyes that Viktor couldn’t bear so he switched the topic promptly. Sometimes he wanted to pry a little but if Yuuri didn’t want to talk to him about his family, then he could understand. Not everyone’s family was kind, he was rather estranged from him so he naturally assumed that but Yuuri didn’t act out in silent fury like he did——there was this soft nostalgic look that rested in his eyes before the sadness took over and flooded them with tears. They must have loved him so if he was willing to cry over them.

Viktor noticed other things about Yuuri including how late Yuuri stayed up at night, he blamed it on insomnia but Viktor doubted that (maybe he suffered from nightmares and was afraid to sleep?) He stayed away from silver, he claimed that he was allergic to it which prompted Viktor to get rid of all his silverware on their first date. Yuuri didn’t flinch at the cold, the one time went out to greet Viktor during a particularly nasty blizzard in boxers and a very thin tee shirt. It was a miracle he didn’t develop frostbite, Viktor had to carry him back inside to make sure he wouldn’t lose his toes. 

(He also had an impressive stamina that came in handy during their time in the bedroom. Viktor couldn’t really complain about it though because it brought them some very memorable nights together.)

And then there was Makka.

Viktor had loved that dog since the moment that she had been given to him as a present on his birthday; he had spent his lonely teenage years between skating and Makkachin. Makkachin has been a light in his life, an anchor that kept him stable through the dark and turbulent times in his life. For that, he would always be thankful.

He considered his beloved poodle a good judge of character so when Viktor introduced the love of his life to the light of his life, he held his breath in anticipation. Makkachin has not been shy when she first met Yuuri but she did approach him with a sense of weariness before she knocked the younger man down and started to give him wet slobbery kisses as if she hadn’t seen him forever. Viktor had recorded it and awwwed over the video for a full week before he posted it on Instagram.

It wasn’t just Makka though.

All of the animals seemed to stare at Yuuri as if he was a god or something. It freaked him out one time when Yuri’s cat, Potya, had sat and stared at Yuuri for a full minute before hopping down from her perch and gently headbutted his legs for attention. Yuri had been speechless since his hellcat had hissed at everyone who wasn’t him, Viktor had been wary of the cat since the first time she tricked him into a belly rub before getting him with her claws.

There was also the matter of his job. Whenever Viktor asked him about he did for a living, Yuuri responsed something along the lines of being a freelance writer. It made sense with his behaviours. 

(But was it true?) 

Viktor didn’t push no matter how much he wanted to, there were so many questions burning on the tip of his tongue but he held back. His insecurity told him that he would chase Yuuri away if he asked him so suddenly or abruptly, and Viktor knew that he would rather prefer death than a life without Yuuri.

Yuuri Katsuki was a strange human indeed but regardless of his odd habits, Viktor loved him with every fiber of his being. He just couldn’t shake that something was odd about Yuuri, no matter how much he tried. It just stayed with him and he hoped that one day he would gather the courage to ask him. But for now, he enjoyed his time with him. There would be other days where Viktor could ask but it was not today.

Viktor couldn’t understand what could be so terrible that Yuuri would hide it from Viktor. They loved each other and he knew that it was unrealistic to think that they should pour forth all of their secrets but what could Yuuri be possibly be hiding in that head of his. It reminded him of the tale of The Girl with the Green Ribbon. Was Viktor going to be the man who asked his beloved to take off the ribbon only to lead to their demise? Or would be as composed as the husband in the story, and wait till they were old and grey? He didn’t know, nor did he want to know. 

(Yuuri would tell him one day, he knew he would. He hoped he would. Did he really have so little trust in Viktor?)

He traced his features with his eyes, devouring every detail and committing it to memory. Viktor got out of bed, tucking the covers around Yuuri before leaving the room to feed Makkachin who would no doubt be hungry.

“Makka!” The poodle was resting on her doggie bed, she lifted her head up with an excited bark as Viktor walked into the kitchen. She scrambled from her bad, nails scratching the hardwood floor as she circled around Viktors feet, barking. “Shhh!” He hushed, placing two scoops of dog food into her bowl. “Yuuri is sleeping.”

Yuuri sat up in bed when the sun rose well into the late morning sky. He stumbled into the living room like zombie homing in on Viktor who was sitting on the couch, silently drinking his coffee.

“Good morning, darling,” Viktor chirped, pecking his cheek before passing him his daily dose of coffee.

“Morning,” Yuuri said, sleep still tinting his voice. “Why am I awake?”

“Because you went to sleep at an ungodly hour,” Viktor said as he pushed several strands out of the way. “What do you want to do for the rest of the day?”

“It’s your day off,” Yuuri said, leaning against his shoulder. He pressed a lazy kiss on his neck that sent pleasant shivers down his spine. “I’m spending it with you after all. What do you want to do, Vitya?”

Nope, he still felt his heart do backflips when Yuuri called him that. “You should still have a say.”

Yuuri mumbled, “You’re comfy.”

“I know.” He chuckled, taking the coffee mug away from Yuuri and setting them on the table. He pulled Yuuri into his arms as he leaned back on the armrest, Yuuri’s head on his chest and his hair tickling his chin. “So are you.”

“We could just stay in,” Yuuri said after a while, a faint smile on his lips. He traced random shapes on the exposed part of his chest where his sweater dipped below his collarbone. “Watch tv, play with Makka, dance. I’m up for anything if you are.”

“Anything?” Viktor asked as his fingers ghosted underneath Yuuri’s shirt, tracing up and down the bumps of his spine. “I can think of a lot of things we can do before the sun sets, my darling.”

“You’re insatiable,” Yuuri giggled.

“Mmhhh, sure I am.” He said, he lifted his head and pecked Yuuri on the lips. “Have I told you that I love you? Because…….I love you. I love you so much that it feels like my heart is going to beat right out of my chest.”

“I like your heart inside your chest, you big sap,” Yuuri said softly, he cupped his cheek, his thumb caressing the bony part of his face. His big brown eyes were just as beautiful and sad as the first time Viktor gazed into them, he could fall forever just staring into his eyes. “I love you, too, Vitya. You have no idea how much I do or for how long I will love you.” 

And Viktor had no idea of what he meant. He only heard the word 'love' and his name before he found himself pressing a heated kiss upon his lips. 

When passion faded and the sun dipped well below the horizon, they basked in the afterglow. Viktor stared up at the ceiling finding it hard to close his eyes. Yuuri was safe in his arms once again, blissfully unaware of the raging storm of doubt and worry that danced inside Viktor's brain. It was so awfully tempting to wake Yuuri up, to ask him and to listen but he found that he could not do it. He pulled back, reminding himself of the virtue of patience and time as he gazed at Yuuri's soft features. 

He could wait, he told himself as he fell asleep. 

(But for how long was the question.)


	3. At Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Many have sung of love a root of bane:  
> While to my mind a root of balm it is,  
> For love at length breeds love; sufficient bliss  
> For life and death and rising up again.  
> Surely when light of Heaven makes all things plain,  
> Love will grow plain with all its mysteries;  
> Nor shall we need to fetch from over seas  
> Wisdom or wealth or pleasure safe from pain.'
> 
> \---Christina Rossetti, At Last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today was their anniversary.  
> And today was the day where Yuuri would tell Viktor everything.  
> The ring in his pocket felt like lead with the weight of its promise, it wasn’t just a bland piece of metal—-it was the start of their new life together

Death made two distinct rules when he resurrected certain souls to serve him: One, never fall in love and two, never forsake your duty for love.  
Honestly, they were kinda stupid and completely out of context.  
Yuuri never understood those rules, it felt so specific and so odd. He pushed it back into the dark recess of his mind where lost memories and distant emotions laid hidden away, rules were just rules and he followed them dutifully until he could not anymore. Viktor had become his and he became Viktor’s the moment that he burned the call card, he let the stiff paper turn into ash to be swept away by the harsh winds of winter.  
He practically chucked those rules out the moment that he remembered his past life. Viktor had become his sole reason to continue living—-all those years of the cold and emptiness that threatened to tear him apart from the inside had been worth it every time Viktor smiled at him.  
Looking back on those memories left him with a feeling of dread and the ache of being so close to the one you love. When ever he stayed awake late into the night, he found himself gazing at Viktor’s sleeping face and his heart would light up in his chest to remind him that this was real and that it was his Vitya that was sleeping next to him, only he would get to wake up next to him every morning and lay next to him every night. He felt like he was floating when ever Viktor gazed at him with pure love in his eyes that was meant for nobody but him, just like in their previous life together, Viktor was unabashed about his feelings for Yuuri. It was as transparent as the soul that shined beneath, illuminating Yuuri with the briefest of touch.  
Spring had come again, flowers bloomed all around him. Blues, greens, reds, and pinks all beckoned him closer to floral shops, each of them vibrantly arranged in bouquets that caught his eyes.  
Roses, Yuuri learned, were Viktors favorite. The pale blue roses called out to him, reminding him of Viktor ’s eyes.  
Viktor insisted on cooking, he practically pushed Yuuri out of the apartment and told him not to come back until four. And so, Yuuri took the opportunity to have the ring resized and went our shopping for a gift. So far he could find nothing. Flowers seemed to be the only thing that stood out; they were simple and beautiful. Viktor would love them.  
Today was their anniversary.  
And today was the day where Yuuri would tell Viktor everything.  
The ring in his pocket felt like lead with the weight of its promise, it wasn’t just a bland piece of metal—-it was the start of their new life together. Yuuri knew that it was a gamble, he knew that their time was borrowed, and he knew that he was being selfish but they never got to chance to get married in their previous life. Viktor had died and Yuuri soon followed, he tried not to think of that night but it only made him more desperate to hold onto Viktor.  
Stand by my side and stay close to me.  
That was what they promised each other all those years ago. Yuuri wanted nothing more than that. He hoped that Viktor would too.  
“Ooh! Blue is definitely a nice choice!”  
Yuuri felt cold, his heart felt like ice as dread twisted in his stomach.  
It’s funny how you’re mood can easily be ruined by a single person.  
Yuuri cursed loudly in his mind as he felt his blood freeze in his veins, his fingers began to tremble as fear found its way through the gaps between his ribs. He didn’t want to turn around but he knew that if he didn’t, he was just delaying the inevitable. The cashier gave him an odd look. He quickly paid for the flowers in silence, keeping his head down.  
“Yuuri, it’s rude to ignore somebody when they’re talking to you.” He bit down on his lip nearly drawing blood, the words tasting bitter on his tongue. The last thing he wanted was to look like a crazy person in the middle of a flower shop because his friend wouldn’t shut up. “Pay attention to me!” Phichit whined behind him. He could feel the cold of his skin as Phichit laid his head on his back, asking him where the hell he had been for the past year. Yuuri would’ve humored him if he wasn't in the midst of a mental breakdown.  
Yuuri, of course, was pissed and just a little bit offended by Phichits presence.  
He stomped out of the floral shop with the bouquet and marched down the street before sliding into an alleyway. Yuuri couldn’t go back to his Reaper form, doing so would only every other Reaper in the area. He was a Rogue Reaper now, if he was caught then that meant that he would never see Viktor again. Yuuri felt fear cut through the anger, sobering him up before he could do anything reckless  
Phichit still was his friend. He was the only person (other than Viktor) that Yuuri ever cared about. He could at least try to be civil with the one person who gave a damn about him for all those years.  
He held a finger up before Phichit could say anything. It was most likely he had a lot of questions for Yuuri but he needed to get a few things off his chest. “Phichit, I know what you’re gonna say and I know that I fu——“  
Yuuri felt Phichit tackle him in a hug, the air being pushed out of his lungs as he tightened his arms around his shoulders. He let out a deep sigh and hugged him back, living as a human was harder than he thought and not having Phichit there only made it harder. Viktor was caring and he was sweet when he helped Yuuri with things he didn’t understand but Yuuri missed Phichit like someone would miss family. Friendship was rare amongst Reapers, mostly because they were discouraged from forming attachments.  
“I missed you too,” he says. “I’m sorry but……” Phichit pulls away. His eyes were biting with a million questions, Yuuri knew that look on his face. “Is it true that you’ve regained your memories?”  
He nods, solemnly. “It’s true.”  
“Oh Yuuri,” he sighs exasperatedly. The smile doesn't leave his face but there's something somber about it, almost pitying. “Only you would manage to find yourself in this type of situation. Celestino is looking for you, he even brought out the hounds.” Yuuri shudders at the name. Was the situation really that bad? Sending Reapers is one thing but the hounds——he feels a chill crawl up his spine. He doesn’t want to know what would happen if they were to sink their teeth into him. “I don’t think he’s handling the fact that the best Reaper he’s ever known just went MIA.”  
“Are you going to report me?” Yuuri asks in a shaky voice. Phichit was his only and best friend if it had been anyone else Yuuri would’ve made sure that they didn’t leave this alleyway alive but this is Phichit, if anybody had the right to bring him in, it was Phichit.  
He knows the answer before it even leaves Phichits lips.  
“No.”  
He blinked owlishly.  
Say what now?  
“Phichit, I broke the rules—-“ Yuuri doesn’t know why he’s arguing.  
He stops him, placing a finger to his lips. The touch is cold. “Can you honestly tell me that you’re not the happiest you’ve ever been in the last three centuries? You’re practically glowing. It would be nothing short of cruel of me to ruin your happiness just because Death wrote some rule about not falling in love and some other bullshi—.”  
“But Phichit——“  
“Not done, Yuuri! Death can go and stuff it if he thinks he can break the two of you apart.”  
Now that was a dangerous declaration. Yuuri scowled, it was one thing for him to break the rule but it was another for Phichit to do the same. Rogue Reapers are different than Grim Reapers. They’re considered ten times more dangerous, with a snap of their fingers they could tip the scale of destiny. Fate didn't like them, Death hated them, and Destiny was not kind to them. But Yuuri didn’t care what the primordial beings thought of his actions. For one, they couldn’t find him as long as he stayed in his human form. And two, Yuuri was focused on saving only one life: Viktors.  
“Just tell me one thing. Are you happy with this Viktor guy? Does he treat you right?”  
Yuuri nodded. “He makes me feel alive. I….I want to spend the rest of my life with him, Phichit.”  
“Oh my god!” Phichit squeals, pulling Yuuri into another hug that leaves him gasping for breath. “You’re getting married to him! Yuuuuuri! You have to invite me to your wedding!”  
He chuckles. “Viktor needs to say yes first.” 

 

 

By the time that Phichit pulls away from Yuuri, it’s dusk and he feels a sudden pull back home. Viktor is waiting for him. His Viktor. His love, his life. The thought makes him dizzy with excitement. He might as well have been trailing hearts behind him.  
He puts Phichit and Grim Reapers behind him but the thought lingers on like a festering wound.  
If the hounds were to find him, they wouldn’t argue. They would just drag Yuuri back to Celestino, it didn’t matter if he was alive or dead, he’d be out on trial regardless. And Viktor, oh god, Viktor would either cease to exist or he’d forget everything about Yuuri.  
The light that shined in his eyes and smile would fade, he’d wake up in the middle of the night crying again, he’d give his soul over the ice only to receive nothing, he’d eat dinner alone, he’d spend his days off alone, he’d sleep alone——Viktor would be alone and that broke Yuuri’s heart.  
Tonight is about Viktor and him.  
The apartment is dimly lit with candles by the time Yuuri comes back, he slips off his shoes as quietly as he can before following the scent of freshly made food. Viktor stands with his back to him, leaning his hip against the counter. Yuuri bites his lips to stifle a smile, his mouth stretching over his teeth when Viktor turns to look at him with those lovely blue eyes.  
He pulls out the bouquet of flowers, the plastic wrap crinkling as he holds it out by the stems.  
“Happy Anniversary, Vitya.” And when Viktor starts crying, Yuuri nearly drops the flowers. For the second time today, he finds himself pulled into a tight embrace. The flowers are cursed between them. Viktor clutched Yuuri to him like he’s drowning, crying into his shoulder with tears that can’t be quelled. “Oh, Vitya.” Yuuri says softly into his ear, threading his fingers through his silver hair. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you.”  
Viktor pulls away only to press a kiss against his lips, pulling Yuuri in like he’s the very air he craves.  
“They’re beautiful!” He says, cradling his face. “Yuuri, no one’s ever bought me flowers before.”  
“You get plenty at competitions,” Yuuri points out.  
“Those are different, darling. When I’m competing, nobody really sees me, they just see Viktor Nikiforov, five-time world champion and two-time Olympic athlete. When someone hands me flowers it’s because they like my performance but that’s about it. I’ll never discount my fans but over the years flowers meant nothing to me since all I did hold dozens of them with a smile on my face.” Viktor lifts the blue roses up, cradling them close to his body. It’s a miracle that they’ve survived. “But these are from you: Yuuri Katsuki, the only person who didn’t want the world champion or the playboy or the warped image that the media presented. You wanted me for me.”  
“That’s right,” Yuuri murmurs against his lips. “I want you to be yourself, nothing more and nothing less.”  
Their date on the beach was when Yuuri uttered those words, it was during the early stages of their relationship when they were testing the waters. Both of them had been shy, Viktor was more nervous but when Yuuri opened up to Viktor it didn’t take long for him to meet him in the middle.  
Viktor pulls Yuuri back into the kiss, his hands sliding down his back. Yuuri hums in approval. “I love you,” Viktor tells him when he pulls away with blown out pupils. Nobody could extinguish the smile on his face.  
“I know.”  
“I adore you.” A kiss, the smell of winter and cologne.  
“And I you.” The taste of orange blossom tea.  
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”  
And that’s where Yuuri’s fingers stutter to a stop, spayed over the flexing muscles of his back, he pulls away with reddened cheeks and an equally awed look.  
“I….” Yuuri trails off. He hates it when he starts doubting himself like this. This is Viktor, the person he gave up his immortality for. He can’t do this, he knows he can. The rings feel red hot pressed inside the linings of his pocket when he reaches for it. It's natural for humans (and Reapers) to be nervous, right? “Viktor, will you—-“  
A timer goes off, shattering the moment into pieces. Viktor curses under his breath, reluctantly pulling away from Yuuri’s warmth so that he can pull the casserole out of the oven before it gets burnt. In one way, Yuuri’s relieved. And the other, he’s kinda disappointed. But good things come to those who are patient.  
(And he’s waited for three centuries, he could wait a few more hours.) 

 

 

The evening is perfect.  
It almost feels like a dream.  
Viktor’s homemade dinner was amazing, they decide to put on their most comfortable clothes instead of the suits they planned on, vanilla scented candles had been lit around the apartment which made Yuuri feel even more relaxed, and Makkachin was napping by their feet as they finish off dessert.  
It’s perfectly domestic.  
“Won’t Yakov be mad about the chocolate cake?” Yuuri asks. “I thought athletes are on a strict diet?”  
Viktor guides the spoon Yuuri is holding towards his mouth. “One piece of chocolate cake won’t kill me and Yakov understands that I don’t intend to leave the house for the entire weekend much less care if I eat my fill of chocolate cake.” He winks causing Yuuri to roll his eyes when Viktor steals another bite of his cake. “How can I when my darling boyfriend spoils me so?”  
“Sap.”  
“You love me!” He sings.  
“I do,” Yuuri snorts. “I wouldn’t share my cake with just anyone.” He reaches forward to wipe a smear of chocolate from the corner of his mouth, his thumb brushing across his bottom lip. “So messy…..”  
Viktor smiles, his lips curling underneath Yuuri’s fingers.  
“I love you.” He says barely above a whisper. Viktor gets up quickly, Makkachin lets out a whine when Viktor moves away from the table. “I’ll be right back.”  
Yuuri glances down at Makkachin and shakes his head. (The piece of his cake is halfway gone thanks to Viktor. It would be a shame not to eat it.) Viktor returns from their bedroom, hiding something behind his back.  
Yuuri doesn’t have a chance to ask because Viktor sinks down into his knee procuring a black and silver box from his pocket. With a soft click, the box opens to reveal a solid band of gold with the simplest of etching inlaid onto its glittering surface. Yuuri feels tears well up in his eyes----- happy tears born of love and adoration that spanned lifetimes for the man kneeling in front of him.  
Typical Viktor. Always wanting to be first.  
“Yuuri Katsuki,” Viktor utters his name lovingly, his hand holding his. “I want you to stand by my side and never leave. Will you be my husband?”  
The proposal is simple, almost broken down to the bare minimum and he knows that Viktor is close to crying. Yuuri knows the significance of those few words. It makes him feel high, the chemicals in his brain streaming through his system as he fails to fight back tears.  
“Oh Vitya,” Yuuri wipes the tears away with the back of his sleeve. He reaches down into his pocket and pulls out his own box, presenting it to him like it was a star he plucked from the sky itself. Viktor’s face went through three stages: shock, awe, and finally excitement. His lips curled over his teeth in that familiar heart-shaped smile that Yuuri simply adored.  
He slips off the chair, kneeling in front of an already kneeling Viktor who has this starstruck look on his face that gives Yuuri the courage to go on.  
Yuuri was never really good at waxing poetry or creating something that had lasting meaning. What he did have was honesty, it was the last line in the sand that Yuuri drew. And now, he was willing to let the ocean sweep it away with its waves of it meant he got to spend the rest of his days with this man.  
“Viktor Nikiforov,” He can’t help it when his voices breaks due to emotion. He keeps going anyway. “Vitya. I could search the whole world and nobody could be amazing as you. Will you marry me?”  
He doesn’t hear Viktors response until after he’s tackled him, pressing him down to the floor for a kiss that speaks volumes. Yuuri returns it eagerly, happiness and love threatening to crush his heart. They cry into each other’s shoulders whispering declarations of love, two matching bands of gold encircling their ring fingers.  
“I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you!” Viktor exclaims.  
“How long have you been waiting for this moment?” Yuuri asks gazing at the ring on his finger. He can’t suppress the thought that Viktor was his and he was Viktors, it made fireworks go off in his mind. It felt too surreal. “Weeks? Months?”  
“No.” Viktor is still straddling his hips. Yuuri places his hands on his hips when Viktor leans down to brush away a few loose strands of his hair. “I felt like I’ve waited a lifetime for you.”  
Yuuri can feel the thoughts from earlier prod his mind; Phichit, the hounds, the grim reapers, Viktors future death. He doesn’t want to dwell on it during the happiest moment in his life but Viktor has no idea about him. It pricks his heart, threatening to burst the bubble that Yuuri had been living in for the past year.  
Would he leave Yuuri when—-if—-he found out the truth? Would he be furious? Would he be disappointed? Would he ever ask from the ring back?  
Would he leave Yuuri?  
That last question hurt. He’d rather face the jaws of the hounds of hell rather than know the answer to that particular question. It must’ve shown on his face because Viktor furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Yuuri didn’t know that he was crying fat, salty tears before Viktor brushed them away with his lips. The action, however small, made Yuuri feel like he was loved---like he was wanted. Maybe that was why he reached up to tangle his fingers in Viktors hair, tugging him down to meet his lips in a kiss that rivalled nebulas and galaxies, his world burst to color all around him.  
Viktor pulled away, his eyes dark. Yuuri stared back, bravery hugging his bones like moss hugs a window.  
They gaze into each other’s eyes with their hearts reverberating in their chests. Yuuri feels his blood singing, his lungs shallow with oxygen, his body wanting more when Viktor get up. He misses the feeling of him but it doesn’t take long before their kissing again, this time with more heat and more passion. Tongues dance feverishly and touches turn heavy, love and lust guiding their actions as Yuuri backs Viktor towards their bedroom. Every Sharp inhale, every bite of each other’s lips, every open-mouthed kiss——just an extraordinary chain of events leading up to one momentous and singular crescendo that lasts well into the night.  
Yuuri lets out a surprised yelp when Viktor picks him up, his arms hooking under his knees as he takes them to their bedroom. He wraps his arms around his neck, refusing to break the kiss till both of them come apart, panting for air.  
He straddles Viktor, his legs wrapped around his waist as they sit on the edge of their bed. They weren’t rushing, they were savouring each other. Yuuri wanted to commit every moment of this night into his memory——every kiss, every touch, every moan——he wanted it to be etched into his brain like the love bites on his skin. He wants Viktor more than air.  
For a minute they just stare as their breaths mingle, basking in this feeling that neither of them can’t describe.  
It’s Yuuri who moves first, he grabs Viktor by his collar and licks into his mouth slowly, minimizing as much space as he can between the two of them. He rolls his hips forward craving the friction that he sought, bringing out a strangled moan from Viktor’s lips that absolutely wrecks him.  
He starts unbuttoning his shirt, gasping when Viktor breaks the kiss and mouths at his jaw. The scrape of teeth followed by the warmth of his tongue is bliss. He lets out a shaky exhale when Viktor starts kissing down, the pads of his fingertips skimming the soft skin underneath his shirt.  
Clothes shed like second layers of skin, bruises bloom like flowers over their skin, and blood rushes through them like a storm heading south.  
He pushes Viktor back on the mattress when he’s free of the last article of clothing, his arms caging around him. Yuuri shoves everything from his mind, putting every ounce of his concentration on the man beneath him; Viktor stares up at him with pure adoration, his lips parted and his cheeks flushed red. It’s a sight that no one but he would ever be allowed to glimpse. Viktor was beautiful almost anytime Yuuri gazed at him but tonight, he shined brighter than any star.  
Things were a blur of breathy moans, hungry kisses, and a tortuously wonderful heat that seared them together. He splayed his hands on Viktors toned chest, pressing kisses down the lines of his body before mouthing hungrily over him. He relishes in the way Viktor writhes underneath him, his back arching in a way that would make any dance instructor proud as he grasps for the bedsheets.  
Yuuri can’t help but be a little smug when they've both finished, maybe a little embarrassed because he’s not used to taking the lead, but he definitely feels a sense of contentment that can’t be rivalled when Viktor turns to look at him, boneless and spent. He could write poetry on the way Viktor calls out his name like it’s a prayer, it should be downright sinful. it awakens something carnal in him.  
Viktor is the one the first to say something. He reaches for Yuuri’s hand, pressing it over his beating heart. Yuuri can feel the kick of his heart through his chest, he feels his own best rapidly when Viktor leans up to kiss his chest.  
“You know,” Yuuri starts, giddiness threatening to speed up his heart even faster. “You never did give me an answer earlier.”  
“I think the answer is obvious.” Viktor chuckles. “Don’t you think, my darling Yuuri? And besides, you didn’t answer my question either.” He pouts, his bottom lips pushed out in a manner that makes him look even more irresistible. Yuuri bits his lower lip.  
Yuuri glances at the ring settled on his finger. The last time he had seen a ring on his finger had been the last time he saw Viktor.  
He didn’t like to recount his death, Viktor had been so close to him during that time and when he closed his eyes he just saw flames lapping up at him. Yuuri’s reawakening as a Grim Reaper brought nothing but confusion and resentment that faded away into cold-hearted reluctance as the centuries wore him down like a piece of glass in the sea, the waters of time were temperamental towards him. Phichits presence and friendship had helped him to alleviate the sadness and loneliness that lingered in his heart but no matter how far he went, it lingered like a ghost.  
The only thing that Yuuri had with him was a gold ring that was too big for his fingers. He wore it around his neck, taking it out only when he felt the loneliest. That ring had been Viktors, the last thing he ever gave him.  
And then he found Viktor.  
Yuuri’s life was a cruel cycle that had a dramatic sense of irony mixed with it. But it was all worth it, that was what he told himself when the ring caught the light. Viktor was worth everything to him, and so much more.  
More than silver, more than gold, and more than fate.  
“I do,” Yuuri whispered hoarsely. No other words can come to mind, a simple yes just pales in comparison. It wasn’t enough to convert his feelings. He feels tears threaten to well up in his eyes followed by the sting of salt that’s all too familiar. “I do,” he repeats again.  
“I do, as well.” He says, brushing the tears away. Viktor looks like he wants to cry as well, his eyes look like endless Pools of blue. Yuuri is drowning. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. Stay close to me——“  
“——And never leave,” Yuuri promises, sealing it with a kiss. 

 

 

Waking up next to Viktor is a surreal experience.  
Yuuri has to blink multiple times to process the fact that this is real. It’s followed usually by a sense of wonder and awe; sometimes Yuuri doubted how he could’ve been so lucky.  
Viktor looked so beautiful as the morning light shined a halo where the rays touched his hair, he looked like an angel. Yuuri closes his eyes, taking a deep breath in as he held their naked bodies together. He felt content; happier than he’s ever been.  
He felt like he was drunk with a pleasant buzz of alcohol running through his veins but it was all just Viktor; he filled Yuuri to the very brim with love that he craved. It was like being endlessly drunk and Yuuri revelled in the aftermath.  
Some mornings just started out perfect.  
Yuuri didn’t have the heart to wake Viktor up. He brushed his lips across his skin, soft as a feather and nimble as a dove before carefully getting out of bed to go to the bathroom.  
He stares at his reflection as the soles of his feet slim the cold tiles, eyes focusing on the reds and blues and purple that cover his neck in torso like splatters of vivid paint. Yuuri lifts a finger to a love bite on the back of his neck, the skin feels tender and raw there but through the slight sting of pain he can’t help but feel loved. It’s funny how pain and pleasure mingled so perfectly together.  
Viktor is still asleep by the time he steps out of the bathroom. Yuuri places another kiss on his cheek before gently closing the door and stepping out into the living room.  
Yuuri isn’t much of an early bird but he just couldn’t go back to sleep. He was just so damn…..happy. There was a smile on his face that refused to go away no matter how he tried to suppress it. It kept popping up like daisies in spring.  
“I see you had a fun night!”  
Yuuri nearly drops the plates he’s holding.  
“Phichit!” He scolds. Really, Phichit could have the decency to look a little bashful but he’s not. He’s fucking smiling. “I know we can phase through walls but you should seriously knock.”  
“And disturb you and your boyfriend?” There’s that shit eating grin that Yuuri knows all too well. He narrows his eyes. “Nah, I’d rather let you have your fun.”  
Yuuri huffs, blowing a strand out of way.  
“Thanks for the privacy I suppose.”  
“You're welcome,” he says toying with an apple on the counter, pushing the fruit back and forth lazily. “Are you sure your boyfriend isn’t a vampire?”  
“Viktor is human. Why?”  
He points to his neck where Yuuri’s jumper exposes a part of his neck. “You look like you’ve been——“  
Yuuri slaps his hand over the mark, his cheeks turning pink “Please. Don’t.”  
He would have to wear a turtleneck for the next two weeks till the bruises faded. As much as he liked them, it wasn't very polite to go around showing them off. He ignored Phichit who was giggling like a four year old. Phichit has a tendency to be like a poltergeist, the only difference between him and those pesky spirits was that he caused less destruction. Yuuri still loved him though, it wasn’t like he was dropping in on them last night. Right?  
“What are you doing here, Phichit?” Yuuri asks as he places the dishes in the sink. He glances over to their bedroom. “You hate being up so early in the morning.”  
“The morning is evil.” Phichit hums absently.  
“You’re telling me.” He snorts. “You didn’t answer my question.”  
“Right….....about that.”  
“Oh my gods, Phichit. What did you do?” Yuuri says exasperatedly. He just wanted a nice cup of tea and some food before he went back to cuddling with Viktor. Was that too much to ask? “You know what? I’m having a really, really good morning so far and I love you but please for the love of the gods don’t——-“  
“Minako found me.” He blurts out.  
A second passes and Yuuri processes the words. His mind shuts down before starting back up, his first thought is of Viktor whose still blissfully unaware of the storm gathering on their doorstep. His mind refused to pause for even a second, his thoughts racing faster and faster making him feel lightheaded.  
(Yuuri.exe has ceased to function.)  
“Shit,” He says. He places his hand over his heart feeling the organ beat through his ribs. “Shit.”  
“Don’t worry!” Phichit puts his hands up in mock surrender. Yuuri is having none of it, he shakes Phichits hand off as he starts pacing. “She was asking about you but I pointed her in the wrong direction. You’re so well hidden I doubt that she’ll be able to———“ He’s cut off three firms knocks and Yuuri stops, going as still as a statue. “-------find you.“  
Yuuri spun around, glaring holes into Phichit black clothed form.  
“You. Stay. Right. There.” Yuuri said through gritted teeth, his eyes glimmered dangerously. For a second he looked like a grim reaper, red crept into his irises only to recede like ocean waves. “Do not move, Phichit.”  
“Maybe it’s the postman?” He suggested sheepishly.  
Yuuri mutters. “Unlikely.”  
He walks towards the door, ice clawing at his heart when he peeks through the peephole.  
“Fuck!” Yuuri clamps his hand over his mouth, backing away from the door with horror. Phichit is quickly by his side, holding onto his shoulders from behind.  
“Is that…….” He nods mutely. Bile threatens to rise up, Yuuri swallowed thickly. It doesn't help. “Shit!”  
“What do I do?!”  
“Let her in?”  
“Phichit!”  
“She already knows you’re here, Huuri.” Phichit tightens his grip on his shoulders. “There’s not stopping her.”  
Three more knocks resonated through the apartment like the heralding of church bells, it set Yuuri even more on edge. He feels every muscle in his body tense like a coil ready to spring.  
Phichit is right. Of course, he’s right. It doesn’t matter.  
Yuuri just wished that he had more time with Viktor, he wasn’t expecting their time to end so soon. It wasn’t fair. Life was never fair.  
Yuuri reaches for the door handle, he squeezes his eyes shut and unlocks it with one swift movement, swinging the door open. A sharp gust of hair ruffles his hair, causing him to snap his eyes open.  
Minako looks as beautiful as a cherry blossom pressed against two panels of glass. There’s just this sense of beauty to her that gives off an ancient air; she may look like she’s in her early thirties but she’s far older than the both of them. She fixes her gaze on Yuuri, it’s neutral and no matter how much Yuuri stares it just goes right through him. He can’t tell what’s she’s thinking behind her eyes which glitter like champagne and diamonds.  
“Minako-sensei,” he greets the tall willowy fingers standing in the doorway. Yuuri lets the door swing open, inviting the Grim Reaper inside.  
He hears no growls. That’s good. Minako didn’t bring the hounds with her but that didn't mean she couldn’t summon them with a snap of her thin fingers. It would only take a second---there would be no time to scream or tell Viktor goodbye. Minako doesn’t look upset but then again she’s known as the fiercest of Grim Reapers for a reason, her poker face could rival that of Lilia.  
“Yuuri.”  
“It’s good to see you.”  
“You gained weight, Yuuri.” Minako raises an eyebrow at his cheeks. “It’s cute.”  
Well….he wasn’t expecting that.  
“Would you like some tea?” He offers.  
“Tea sounds lovely.” She looks over to Phichit, her lips curving upward in a smile that makes her look more like an imp than a Grim Reaper. “Phichit, you should join us too.”  
If there was ever a time Phichit was close to speechless, today was the day. He gaped as Minako before shutting his mouth. His eyes were wide as Minako tossed him her jacket when she strutted through the door on her platform heels, every inch a formidable Grim Reaper and Mistress of Hounds. “Yes, Ma'am.” Was all that he uttered.  
Three Grim Reapers and a dog sit down to have tea, Yuuri muses when he picks up the kettle from stove fifteen minutes later. It sounds like the beginning of a bad joke.  
They talk in hushed tones as Yuuri pours the tea, if he wasn’t scared for Viktor he would be smiling at the story that Minako was recounting. Phichit caught his eyes, a silent apology on his tongue. Yuuri could only offer a sincere smile in return. Phichit had messed up but to be fair, nothing got past Minako when she was on a hunt. Minako sat across from Yuuri taking a dainty sip from her teacup, Phichit it to Yuuri’s left (who’s dropped his Grim Reaper form) and Makkachin is snoozing underneath the table.  
“So,” Minako starts. She puts down the teacup, her lips set in a firm line. The vivid shade of red that decorates her lips only accentuates how pale her skin looks and the sharp features of her face. “I’ve heard that you got yourself a human?” Her eyes glance down to the ring on Yuuri’s hand. “I was hoping that it was a joke.”  
“Are you going to call the hounds?” Yuuri asks.  
He folds his hands over his lap to stop them from shaking. His voice is calm enough but he can’ help but stare past Minako to the bedroom door. Viktor is still asleep, it’s almost seven in the morning. (Usually, he’s awake by now.)  
“Do you want me to?” She replies.  
Is she toying with him? Minako was definitely something beyond him and she had years of experience under her belt but he wouldn’t give her the benefit of the doubt. Grim Reapers didn’t act like humans, they lacked warmth and emotion. Certain things in life were trivial to them-----Yuuri couldn’t think about his days as a Grim Reaper without cringing about his behavior. He was so cold and dead on the inside, just an agent of death wandering around without any purpose in life.  
“No.”  
She lets out a small giggle and then picks up her teacup. “Did your human say yes?” Yuuri raises up his hand, showing off the ring on his finger. The message is clear. Viktor is his now.  
(When did he become so passive aggressive? And petty? Or was he always like this?)  
“Have you decided on a date?”  
“We haven’t gotten that far yet,” Yuuri carefully lets the words slip out. Fear is a human emotion that he’s still learning to control. He hates the way it makes him doubt himself. “And it’s Viktor.”  
“Viktor,” She tosses the name around like it’s a toy. Minako pulls her lips away from her teacup, leaving red imprints on the rim. “It’s a lovely name.”  
“Thank you.”  
“Yuuri.” Minako hisses, the word is like a crack of a whip; sharp and ferocious. He winces at the tone, it’s almost scathing. “Stop treating me like I’m a stranger. I’m not here to drag you away from your precious Viktor.” Her eyes are burning now, gold licking at the edges of her pupils mimicking rays of molten sunlight. “If I wanted to, the Hounds would be here in a matter of seconds.”  
“I thought----”  
She rolls her eyes dramatically. “I’m here to see for myself if the rumours are true, you silly boy.”  
“I need a drink,” Phichit huffs, sliding down in his seat. “Scratch that, I need several strong drinks. You’re engaged to a Russian now, Yuuri. Please tell me he had a stash of good quality vodka hidden around the apartment.”  
Yuuri ignores him.  
He exhales, letting the tension and frustration leave his body through his lungs. “You won't report me.”  
“No, Yuuri,” Minako says. “I’m not going to report my star pupil.”  
“But you’re not just here to check up on me,” He states. “What do you really want, sensei?”  
“You’re right,” She turns to Phichit. “Mind getting me a drink as well?”  
“Me too, Phichit.” Yuuri pinches the bridge of his. Nothing in his life could ever be simple, could it?  
“Three ‘I-can’t-believe-this-is-happening-right-now shots’ coming right up!”  
Makkachin barks, rolling onto her side expecting belly rubs from Yuuri. He leans down, giving Makkachin what she wants because even if he was in the middle of a very serious conversation with Minako, how could he resist this dog? Maybe he and Viktor were spoiling her too much.  
“You still haven’t told him, have you?” Minako narrows her eyes accusingly. “The longer you stretch this out the more it will hurt.”  
“I’m telling him today,” Yuuri said. “I know I’ve been putting this off for too long. You have no idea how much it hurts to hide this from him.”  
“Is it because you don’t want to shatter his world?” He nods silently. “It’s kinds too late for that, don’t you think? Viktor’s life changed the moment you chose to alter his fate to suit your needs. Was it selfish of you? Yes, it was. But to be fair, you’ve gained your memories back----you’re the first Grim Reaper to do so in a millennium by the way----and I suppose that asking you to kill your lover and return to the world of the dead would be asking for you to die?”  
It would be like asking for Yuuri to rip his own heart out of his chest. He couldn’t imagine a life without Viktor in it; the thought of it sounded alien.  
Minako was an honest person and no matter how much Yuuri wanted to argue, she was right.  
“I want to spend my life with him. Not as a Grim Reaper but as a human, he’s everything I want and more,” Yuuri smiles into his teacup. “I can see no one else but him, Minako sensei. I love him even if it kills me. If that makes me selfish, then let it be but I cannot imagine a life without Viktor and I know he feels the same.”  
Neither Phichit or Minako say anything, the silence stretches out till it fills the whole room.  
“Oh, my poor boy,” Minako sighs, she reaches across the table and places her hand on his. The gesture feels very maternal. “If he loves you then he’ll understand.”  
“Understand what?”  
Three pairs of eyes settled on Viktor who’s wrapped up in a bathrobe, his hair still wet from the shower. He looks confused.  
“Viktor!” Yuuri stands up. The tea and his friends forgotten. “You’re finally awake.”  
In three quick strides, Viktor his is in front of his. His eyes burn with a thousand questions as he searches Yuuri’s face. Water drips onto the jumper but Yuuri doesn’t care when Viktor reaches for his hand. “Are you okay, darling?”  
Minako and Phichit both have their eyes on him, he can feel the weight of their stares on his back. Viktor’s hold on him grounds him in place before he can float away.  
“Tell him, Yuuri,” Minako says from her spot at the table. Her arms are crossed over her black t-shirt. “Tell him or else I will.”  
“Yuuri?” Viktor cups his face, keeping Yuuri in place. There’s something desperate about his action. Yuuri can feel the tension in his body when he starts trembling. His breath is shallow, his lungs begging for more. Bravery slips out of him bit by bit but he manages to clamp onto what remains, it’s not enough. “What’s going on?” He asks him. Viktor glances at Minako and Phichit, eying the way they dressed from head to toe in black. “Who are these people, darling? Yuuri, please.”  
Yuuri lifts his hand, pressing it against the side of Viktor’s face. He tears his gaze away, staring down at him instead.  
“Vitya.” He closes his eyes and breathes. The shift is subtle but suddenly he feels the warmth of his body drift away leaving behind the cold that he’s come to loathe. He feels his sense heighten; touch, sound, taste----it’s too much but he bears it. When he opens his eyes, Viktor’s expression shifted between shock and hurt. Yuuri swore he wouldn’t allow himself to cry but the thought of Viktor pushing him away pulls tears from his golden eyes. They turn to ice the moment they touch his skin. “It’s time I told you what I am.”


	4. There Is None, O None But You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The man in front of him shared Yuuri’s face; the same full lips, the soft cheeks, the gentle slope of his nose, strong eyebrows, and the messy midnight coloured hair.   
> The only difference was he was paler now and his eyes were as gold as the sun with flecks of bronze and stardust glittering in them----he looked so otherworldly but Viktor could still see his Yuuri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'There is none, O none but you,  
> That from me estrange your sight,  
> Whom mine eyes affect to view  
> Or chained eares hear with delight.  
> Other beauties others moue,  
> In you I all graces find ;  
> Such is the effect of love,  
> To make them happy that are kind.'
> 
> -Thomas Campion, _Two Books of Ayres_ , _There Is None O None But You_

Viktor needed two things right now: a strong drink and Yuuri as close as close to him as possible.

His mind was reeling and his palms were sweating, Viktor felt lightheaded.

Yuuri was a Grim Reaper.

(Oh my god, Viktor was literally courting death!)

What was exactly was he supposed to say to Yuuri? He opened his mouth and closed it quickly because he couldn’t find anything rational to say without sounding like an idiot. He should’ve been mad, any sane person would be mad but Viktor just felt a sense of relief followed by a twisted sting of betrayal.

The thought of Yuuri lying to him left a sour taste in his mouth. In all honesty, it hurt like someone had punched a hole through his fragile glass heart.

The man in front of him shared Yuuri’s face; the same full lips, the soft cheeks, the gentle slope of his nose, strong eyebrows, and the messy midnight coloured hair. The only difference was he was paler now and his eyes were as gold as the sun with fleck of bronze and stardust glittering in them----he looked so otherworldly but Viktor could still see his Yuuri; the same man who held him when his body ached after a grueling practice, the same man who like to go dancing, the same man who snuck Makkachin treats.

Yuuri, his darling and precious Yuuri, was next to him in seconds, his hands steadying Viktor when he swayed a little in shock. Golden eyes stared up him with tears and he felt his heart to break, looking down he realized that Yuuri was trembling. Matter in fact, he needed Viktor support more as he clung to Viktor like he was drowning, his darkened nails sunk into the material of his bathrobe.

Yes, he felt a little betrayed that Yuuri had lied to him but when Yuuri looked like he was going to cry, Viktor pushed the feelings deep down into his heart and cupped his face in his hand. He was so cold now, it felt like he was touching ice. The cold bit at him as he gently brushed away the tears that had frozen, tiny flecks of silver coated his fingertips and melted away quickly.

He breathed a sigh of relief, pulling Yuuri as close to him as he could.

This was Yuuri’s secret. He was expecting something ten times worse but what he had received only made him feel uncertain.

'Is this why?' He thought to himself.

Did Yuuri really think that Viktor would hate him because of his appearance? Yuuri still looked beautiful despite the gold-stained eyes and the skin as white as snow, Viktor thought those features made him look ethereal and otherworldly. He was half tempted to sink down on his knees and assure Yuuri that he was going nowhere, hold his ice-cold hands in his and kiss the ring that adorned his finger.

To be honest, he didn’t understand what this meant. Was this good? It certainly wasn’t bad but he had a feeling it didn’t bode well for either of them.

“Yuuri,” He whispered into the crown of his head. “Look at me, darling.”

Yuuri ducked his head in shame, pressing his face into the crook of his neck. Viktor could feel the lungfuls of air against the exposed part of his bathrobe, he shivered as goosebumps erupted across his skin. Yuuri’s skin was so cold and so frigid that it seeped past the thin layer of his bathrobe and robbed Viktor of whatever warmth lingered after the shower.

He still didn’t let go, he held onto Yuuri tighter.

“Do you hate me?” Yuuri whispered finally. He had stopped trembling.

“My darling Yuuri,” Viktor pulled away, slipping a finger under his chin to tilt his head up. Nope, still beautiful. Yuuri could’ve had fangs or horns or fur and Viktor would find him beautiful. The ring on his finger----Viktor’s ring, shined under the light of the chandelier. He couldn’t contain the sense of pride that bubbled up within him, the ring meant more to him than Yuuri would ever know. Perhaps, when this whole ordeal was sorted away, they could properly talk. “How could I ever hate you? I love you.”

“I lied to you.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong.

“You did.” Yuuri’s expression twisted painfully, tears crystallizing on his face and on Viktor’s thumb. “But I’m not as angry as I should be,” Viktor added hastily. He brushed his lips over the corners of his eyes, his warm breath mingling with the cold of his skin. “I’m more relieved than anything.”

“But---”

“I thought you were part of the mob.” Viktor chuckled at the idea. All though his Yuuri would look gorgeous in a suit with his hair slicked back, he couldn’t help but giggle at the thought of Yuuri being a tough gangster or hitman. But then again, Yuuri always knew how to surprise him. “Or that you were a secret agent,” Yuuri gave him a watery smile, his lips curving like a bow. “Do you have any idea how many times I thought that you were an undercover cop or something like that, darling?”

“I think you watch too much TV, Vitya,” said Yuuri.

He let out a laugh, something giving way into his chest as he gazed down at those eyes which looked like molten gold. Yakov would call him crazy. Who in their right state of mind would be okay that their fiance was a Grim Reaper?

Viktor was still coming to term with it, his mind rejected the idea and then mulled over it. It left him quite disjointed. Was this really happening? He didn’t know what to feel; his emotions were a strange mix of chemicals that would take aeons to pluck apart and analyze. The only feeling he could hold onto was the love he felt for Yuuri, it outweighed everything else at the moment.

It was his north star.

“Darling, you wound me!” Viktor exclaims, placing a hand over his heart. “You underestimate Americans and their need for police procedurals.”

(Great, now he felt like crying too.)

“I’m so sorry, Vitya.” He says, his voice low and remorseful. It chips off a part of Viktor’s heart. “I didn’t know how to tell you this. I was hoping to tell you last night but well…….” He trails off. If he had been in his human form, he’d be blushing from roots of his hair to his toes. Viktor finds it cute.

Grim Reaper or not, Yuuri was still Yuuri.

“I know.” Viktor leans down, pressing a kiss to his lips. Tears blurred his vision momentarily. He welcomed the way Yuuri’s cold lips warmed underneath his as he kissed back. “I’m not angry, darling. I just…….It’s just taking me a bit to process this. It’s not every day you find out that you’re literally courting death, you know?”

“Still, I should’ve told you sooner.” He’s pouting now and Viktor feels his heart melt further. God, Yuuri really was going to be the death of him.

“My darling, it doesn’t matter now.” Viktor closes his eyes, sighing deeply. "The only thing we need to focus on right now it what to do?”

Yuuri doesn’t respond. His body is as stiff as a board, Viktor can feel the tension underneath his splayed fingers. Viktor is patient with Yuuri, his patience is an ocean.

“I don’t really know,” He whispers. Yuuri bites down on a bloodless lip, his skin turning a shade paler underneath the assault of his teeth. “The situation is…….special. I don’t think anybody has seen something like in years.”

Viktor nods slowly. “Situation?" He tests the word like it’s in the midst of shark-infested waters.

“Vitya,” Yuuri grip on him has loosened. “Do you know what Grim Reapers are? Do you know what they do?”

“They reap souls,” The answer came out more like a question. Viktor winced at his uncertainty.

“Well, he’s not wrong.” A voice drawled from across the room.

Viktor spun his head around, breaking eye contact with Yuuri and stared at the two Grim Reapers across the room dressed in dark clothes. The dark skinned one with eyes as silver as starlight grinned and wave at him casually, Viktor blinked in confusion. The other one with reddish-bronze eyes and blood-stained lips, she raised an immaculate eyebrow at them. Viktor repressed a shudder that travelled down his spine. Yuuri’s arms encircled his waist, pulling him closer to his smaller frame. His face had slipped into a neutral mask that Viktor found absolutely chilling.

“Grim Reapers are agents of Death, we live and breath for one purpose only: to serve death by collecting the souls of the dead.” The women with the backless tee shirt spoke. “Once upon a time, we too were humans until we died. A Grim Reaper goes through a process called the Reawakening which erases our memory of our past lives. The only thing we’re left with is our names and a single object,” She reaches into her coat and pulls out a pale yellow silk handkerchief, the initials frayed and lost to time but other than that it was in perfectly good condition. “You see, Mr. Nikiforov, nobody regains their memories.” Her eyes shift to Yuuri. “Until now that is.”

“We become a blank slate,” Yuuri explains with his eyes closed. The woman, Minako, rolls her eyes and goes back to enjoying her tea. “We don’t feel anything. Emotions are considered useless so their removed.” He opens his eyes and looks up at Viktor, his eyes full of pain that cannot be spoken. “Viktor when I first met you I was supposed to reap your soul but every time you were set to die, you didn’t so I kept seeing you again and again and again---” Viktor felt his breath hitch in his throat, his eyes widened. He forced himself to listen as Yuuri continued on, every word strangling him. Yuuri reached down, holding on to his hands. “I….I intervened once and then I kept doing it because I grew selfish over time, I just couldn’t allow you to die despite what the rules said. I felt something when I was close to you, it made me feel alive and human and I wanted more of it----I craved it and every time I looked at you, I wanted more than the feelings that you stirred in me. I soon realized that I wanted you and I am so sorry! I was selfish and I was a fool and I didn’t mean to hurt you!” He cried, a fresh wave of tears slipped from the corners of his eyes. “I remembered you…...I remember us the night I first met you. I couldn’t let you die again because----” Yuuri cut himself off with a sob, he was shaking like a leaf unable to continue.

A quiet part of him revelled that Yuuri loved him before, that he still kept loving him. It must’ve been awful, he couldn’t imagine what Yuuri must’ve faced every time he gazed at him.

He sobered up quickly, the rest of Yuuri’s words catching up to him.

Yuuri had been crying the first time they had officially met in the dingy bar. He had been smiling through the tears when he extended his hand to Viktor who was stunned by him. He was glad that the pull he felt that night wasn’t the vodka in his system but the kind and sweet-tempered Grim Reaper he somehow managed to fall in love with him.

“Yuuri…..I don’t understand.”

“We used to be together. Before.” Yuuri said. The words were rushed and quiet. “It was centuries ago and I don’t remember all of it but I remembered you and the promise we made to each other and the night that we----”

Viktor whispered: “Died?”

Yuuri nodded.

“How?”

“Fire.” He gasped out. “There was so much fire, I saw you burn and I couldn’t do anything about it. You were screaming at me, begging me and I was trapped and------”

“Oh darling,” Viktor cooed, he lifted his hands up and kissed his palms, his lips lingering on his ring finger. “You don’t have to tell me if it’s too painful.”

“I’m so sorry, Vitya.” He hiccups before Yuuri pushes himself into his arms, his hands fisting the back of his bathrobe. Viktor wraps his arms around him as he cries, it’s all he can do. There are so many questions sloshing around in his brain: What happens to Viktor now? Is it wrong to love a human? How long had Yuuri been haunting him? Where did this leave the both of them now?

He didn’t like the shaky ground they were on, one wrong step for either of them and they would go tumbling down into the abyss that awaited them.

“Are we done here?” Viktor glared at the dark-skinned and silver-eyed reaper who looked more like an imp or fae, he tilted his head, the smile on his face unwavering. It was almost creepy. “Yuuri, I understand that you’re in love but you need to tell him about that other issue-----”

“Phichit, if you say one more word I’ll make sure that you won't be the best man at our wedding,” Yuuri hissed against Viktor’s shoulder.

“You wouldn’t!” He gasped. “Nikiforov, fix this!”

He ignored him. “We’re still getting married?”

“Do…..do you not want to, Vitya? I understand if you don’t want to.”

“No! Of course, I do!” Viktor lifted his hand up, showing off the ring on his finger. How could Yuuri ever think that he wouldn’t want to marry him?! “Would we be allowed though?”

“It’s the twenty-first century, man.” Phichit giggled. “I’m pretty sure two guys can get married now.”

“Phichit,” Minako says softly. “They’re having a moment, you’re interrupting, young man.”

“Oh. Is that what this is?”

“Not that,” Viktor notes that he would get a very strong drink later. “I mean could a Grim Reaper and a human be allowed to be together?” He turns to Minako and Phichit. “You said there were rules?”

“There are,” Minako answers. She flicks her hair back, hitting Phichit in the face with her chestnut coloured locks. “I believe it states that a Grim Reaper should never fall in love and forsake their duty for love.”

“And Yuuri broke both of those rules respectively,” Phichit chimed in. “Celestino doesn’t bring out his hounds out for just any reason.”

“You mean my hounds.” Minako corrects with a pout. “I raised them.”

“Well, Celestino owns them.”

“Celestino doesn’t know how to control them.”

“Sure, Minako.” He rolls his eyes.

Yuuri clears his throat, loudly. “We’re getting off topic here.”

“Sorry,” the both of them murmur.

Yuuri turns back to Viktor. He can’t help but feel like things are going to get worse, there’s this tangible feeling of dread that surrounds them. Viktor has no intention of letting Yuuri go, call him possessive or overprotective but he would fight tooth and nail just to keep him by his side. If they had been separated so cruelly before, then it would only make sense for god or fate or destiny to give them another chance. Right?

This was their chance to be happy.

He was willing to do anything to make this work because Viktor had no one in his life that he wanted to hold onto. (Yuuri once said he was selfish for falling in love with Viktor, that was fine, Viktor was selfish too.)

“Will you have to leave now?” He asked.

“No,” Yuuri shook his head. His eyes blazed with a fierce determination that reflected in Viktor’s eyes. “I’m staying right here. I’m never leaving you again.”

From the corner of his eye, Viktor could see Phochit open his mouth to interrupt. He was thankful that Minako clamped her velvet gloved hands over his mouth before he could interrupt. Viktor wanted to focus on Yuuri right now.

“Yuuri, I know there’s a lot we need to talk about but I just wanted to say that I love you.” Viktor just wanted to say it. This morning felt like the calm before the storm, something didn’t feel right. It felt like this was the last time he was going to see Yuuri. He felt something settle into his bones and his soul, there were no more walls between them and Viktor was anxious to know more about this side of Yuuri. “I just wanted to say it. I don’t care, you’re still my Yuuri and I will always love you. Grim Reaper or not.”

Yuuri’s lips quirked up into a tiny smile, it was still sad and there was a sense of hopelessness about it but something was better than nothing.

“I know.” He stood on his toes, pressing a kiss to his temple. “I’m sorry that it took so long to tell you. I didn’t want to lose you.”

Viktor closed his eyes at the sensation of Yuuri’s lips across his skin. “I love you,” He repeated again.

Minako and Phichit stared at them, neither of them were willing to ruin the moment between them but there were more pressing matters. Phichit pulled away from Minako despite her protests. Viktor glared at the dark-skinned Reaper through narrowed eyes over Yuuri’s head, he didn’t care if this was Yuuri’s friend, he was still wary. Phichit rolled his eyes, which only annoyed Viktor further.

“As sweet as this is,” He said. “We still have a major problem here.”

“Of course we do,” Yuuri sighed. He turned around with this fond smile on his face. “I’m the most problematic Grim Reaper right after you, Phichit. Since when didn’t we ever have problems?”

“You two are lucky that I trained you,” Minako said. “But Phichit is right. You’ve broken too many rules. With the hounds after you, I’m afraid there is no way that you could live a normal life. I’m sorry, Yuuri but right now you’re options are either to turn yourself in and face the consequences---”

“Absolutely not!” Viktor hissed. The three Grim Reapers ignored him.

“---Or you spend the rest of your life in hiding being hunted by the hounds till Viktor dies like he's supposed to.”

“I’m so sorry, Yuuri,” Phichit whispered but neither of them heard him.

None of the options was what he or Yuuri wanted. It was so, so wicked. The choices given to them were almost hopeless. Either Yuuri died for falling in love with a human and breaking the rules or Viktor would die as he was meant to. Yuuri looked stricken, his breath came out shaky. Viktor hated how powerless he felt, he abhorred the fact that he couldn’t change their fate. Were they really doomed together only for a short period of time before they were ripped from each other by the cruel and twisted hands of fate?

He looked down at the ring on Yuuri’s hand. Last night they were willing to spend the rest of their lives together. Did that mean nothing? Yuuri had looked so hopeful when he presented Viktor with a ring last night. The same ring that he had worn in a previous life, it was a lasting symbol of hope and love that lasted for centuries.

No.

Viktor refused to let Yuuri go and he knew that Yuuri was thinking the same thing.

Why would Death make such a stupid rule? Love was something that extended beyond the grave and the afterlife, their love for each other in a previous life was what brought them together. Their love was strong enough to fight the wiles of fate and the rules of Death. Why couldn’t they be together? They fit together like puzzle pieces, the both of them balanced the other out.

Of course, it wasn’t perfect harmony; they fought sometimes and they said things they didn’t mean and some days they forgot how to communicate but when the dust settled and the frustration faded, they still loved each other. No relation was perfect. Viktor wasn’t naive enough to believe that Yuuri and him could get on without having a hiccup or two but this past year alone had changed him in ways he knew and if he lost Yuuri, then that meant he would be losing a large part of himself as well.

The idea of soulmates had never occurred to Viktor until now. Every time Georgi waxed poetry and drew up soliloquies of soulmates and finding the ‘one,’ Viktor had cringed. Georgi was a romantic so that made sense but Viktor was a bit of a realist (----or he had been until approximately fifteen minutes ago) and he thought the idea was cliche.

And then he met Yuuri.

Yuuri was his life and his love.

He had been surrounded by people he cared for since the moment he had been born but he had never had anyone that he could call his own. People gave him love and attention but it wasn’t what he wanted, it only sustained him when he was on the ice and the moment his skates stepped off, he felt like he was entering a chrome like world. Besides Makkachin, Viktor would only find a cold and empty apartment waiting for him; He’d have dinner alone, he’d go to bed alone, he’d wake up alone. Maybe the reason he pushed himself was that he couldn’t stand being so alone, it always felt like a demon that threatened to swallow him up and spit him out. Yakov was considerate, Lilia tried her best, Yuri wasn’t prone to outbursts of affection and Makkachin could only give so much.

But when Yuuri found him, he showed the wonders of being loved. It was like his world burst into colour. Emotions he never knew existed rise to the surface; joy, surprise, excitement and most importantly: love. He felt free and loved and cherished; Viktor had been a hollow touch starved human who just wanted someone to fill the void in his heart and with Yuuri he got just that…...and more.

It was one of the greatest feelings ever.

Whatever happened in their past life had torn them apart. Now, just as they found and fell in love with each other all over again, they were told that it wasn’t going to work. Yeah, Viktor was pissed. No, he was livid.

“Vitya?” Yuuri asked. He glanced up him worried, his bottom lip trapped by his teeth. “Are you okay?”

Not really. Viktor was in the midst of an epiphany that could lead to him doing something very stupid. The thought was a gamble and God forgive him for doing so but he was a man in love. He knew what he wanted.

What about Yuuri?

“Please tell me you aren’t considering those options, Yuuri,” He begged. “Please.”

“Absolutely not.” Yuuri lifted up their entwined hands, their rings catching the light. He pressed a kiss to the back of Viktor’s hand and grinned like a madman. “I intend to marry you and I intend to spend the rest of my life with you. It’s stupid, I know but I don’t want to leave you again. I won’t leave you again.”

(“Oh my god,” Phichit huffed at Yuuri’s _nth_ declaration of love. “You two really are meant for each other.”)

“I have an idea,” Viktor said. “I don’t know if it’ll work or not but I’m willing to try if you are. There’s only one person that can help us.”

“Viktor, you don’t mean……”

“I do.” He nodded. Yuuri looked worried and Viktor could understand why. “We’ve waited lifetimes for each other. Don’t you think we deserve to be happy, darling? Something brought us together, that’s what I feel to be true and I know you probably think I’m just some dumb human that doesn't know what he’s saying but----” Viktor didn’t get to finish. Yuuri pulled Viktor down to his level, his fingers tangling in his hair as he kissed him. Viktor could feel Yuuri’s lips curve underneath his, breaking out into a smile. He kissed back, desperate and hungry and just a little bit excited.

“No. You're not dumb and you not just some human,” Yuuri said breathlessly when they pulled apart for air. “If you have that much faith in us then so do I. Let’s do it, Vitya.”

“God, I love you.”

He kissed him again and again and again. Viktor felt like he was the moon and Yuuri was the center that he orbited around, no matter how far they flung themselves they would always find each other again. He would never get tired of the way Yuuri looked at him like he was something to be cherished and loved, it set his heart on fire. 

“I love you too.”

Minako lifted her eyebrows, her jaw hanging open. Phichit slid next to her and pushed her jaw closed. “You two can’t be serious……….” She trailed off when she realized that they were willing to go through with this crazy and insane idea. 'Minako threw up her hands and sat back down. “You know what? I’m too old for this.”

Viktor laughed, he had made up his mind and nothing could change it. Yuuri beamed up at him, his eyes crinkling in the corners.

He turned to the Grim Reapers. With the utmost certainty, he said: “Let's summon Death.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suprise! I'm adding another chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my [My tumblr](https://lady-of-inklings.tumblr.com/)  
> HMU if you wanna talk/scream to me about Yuri on Ice! My ask box is always open.
> 
> For the [WeWriteVictuuri](https://wewritevictuuri.tumblr.com/) prompt of the week: _I need to say something....._
> 
> Enjoy! I had a lot of fun writing this!


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